Rules for Riding in Elevators

I read this awhile back on another blog and was laughing so hard! Awkward elevator stories are the best.

 I have always noticed that the behavior on elevators is so very unspoken and so very strange! Almost everyone abides by these odd little rules and if you dare to rock the boat you are bound to get some very uncomfortable and disapproving glances! I think that these rules become extraordinarily hard to follow when you are toting children around. I imagine myself in the very small and cramped elevators at our mall. I am often pushing a twenty foot double stroller, carrying a whiny baby and pleading with a grumpy two year old to get back in the stroller all while confirming a Dr's appointment, breaking chicken strips into bite size pieces and looking for my Children's Place coupon. Following the rules often plays second fiddle to just making it through the ride without running over the 78 year old man's feet, not "sharing" our sippy cups with the sophisticated business woman to my left and explaining to the elevator emergency assistance that one of my kids just wanted to say hello, sorry for the inconvenience. Regardless, these rules are quite amusing and not too far from the truth!

 

In my estimation, the rules for elevator behavior when riding with a stranger are as follows:
1. Upon entering the elevator, stand as far away from the stranger as possible. If they are front left, press your body into the back right. Or vice versa. This gets complicated when there are multiple strangers in the elevator, but you'll figure it out.


2. Don't breathe while in the elevator. If you must breathe, do so very quietly so the other person can't tell you are actually breathing.


3. Keep the space in the elevator as quiet as possible. Try not to make noises with your feet or your mouth. Under no circumstances should you speak to the stranger in the elevator. The only allotment is a two word limit, if floor direction is needed, for example, "Eight, please." Even if you had just been conversing to the stranger before you stepped onto the elevator, cease and desist immediately once entering the lift and confirming your desired floor. Guttural sounds are discouraged, as are audible bodily functions. Avoid those if at all possible. Maintain complete silence for the duration of the ride.


4. As if your life depended upon it, do not make any eye contact with the stranger on the elevator. Appropriate places for your eyes to land are: on your cell phone, on the floor, and either at or above the doors of the elevator.

5. Take some time to stare at the floor numbers as they light up in sequence. Silently will your floor's number to come as quickly as humanly possible.


6. Do everything in your power to create as awkward of an experience as possible while riding in the elevator with the stranger. Give off the vibe that you want nothing more in the world that for the brief ride to be over, as it is all but torturous.


7. Go so far as to pretend you can't even see the other strangers in the elevator and don't know they are there.


8. As the elevator nears your floor, step towards the door. As the door slides open, try to sidle out before there is even enough room to get your body through the opening. This will add to the perception that riding in the elevator with a stranger was so uncomfortable, you couldn't bear for it to last even a moment longer than it needed to.


9. Exit the elevator. Go about your merry way, feeling free to speak with others once you are out of the elevator.


10. Repeat this behavior each and every time you ride an elevator with a stranger. Subsequent blogging about it is entirely optional.

Washing Machine Dilemma

I need a new washing machine...or do I?

Well with the current economy and the pinch of pennies, not to mention the notice we got from our water company about the essential rationing of water to families, we have been starting to hunt for a new washer and dryer. A thrilling prospective for any woman who spends a good percentage of her life sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting away laundry.

However, I have not been quite as excited as I thought I would be. Hubby has been asking me if I'd like to get a new set for a few weeks now and I usually shrug and point out that ours really do work just fine. There is nothing wrong with hand-me-downs from the stone age. Well, I'm sure he thought that going to see them at the stores would put a little skip in my step, so off we went.

We took a whole day and devoted it (yes, with the kids...and a full ziplock of usually forbidden jelly beans) to looking, comparing and learning about these fancy new contraptions that wash our clothes. I must admit, I was dazzled when I saw the long gleaming rows of laundering devices. They come in so many colors now and with so many options, it really is no different than shopping for a new car. They have candy apple red, smooth meadow moss, sea splash blue, gunmetal gray, ravishing platinum, midnight black and of course your normal run-of-the-mill ($100 cheaper) white. 

The options are endless: darks, whites, lights, jeans, satin, your grandma's silk, handwash, delicate wash, bedding, pet bedding, steam, sanitize, baby clothes, extra soiled clothes, kids clothes, and a couple more that I cannot recall. They have a lost and found for items left in pockets; they have quite a few sizes, from 3.5 (totally small and way behind the times, don't even waste your time on this piece of crap we were told) all the way up to 5.0. The only true way to know what size works for you is to count how many regular size bath towels and/or average size jeans you may ever want or need to wash and have those numbers ready. They shoot 'em at you pretty quick! I personally have yet to feel the urge to wash all of mine and my neighbor's and my neighbor's neighbor's towels in one load, but the point was made that it is always wise to be ready.

Oh, they also come with somewhere around six different water temps (who woulda' thought- whatever happened to hot and cold?) and of course the obvious first choice (right after you decide between candy apple red and sea splash blue) is front or top loading. Apparently we were told that front loading is so the thing right now due to ergonomic reasons and they have a couple extra options like the stands they rest on that double as storage drawers (sometimes on sale for an easy $189 each)!

Right about now my mind was whirling while he was speeding through the automatic dispenser and how the washer and dryers both know if you screwed up and put too much soap or the load is done or maybe never even needed to be done in the first place and I was beginning to think that these contraptions may put women out of a job. Then he mentioned another fascinating feature that really grabbed my attention. Hush mode. He said that these machines would be whisper quiet, even if you have an upstairs laundry room (I do) next to your kids' rooms (again, I do). Hubby looked at me as if the man just told us we won a free set and said "Isn't that great??!!" I thought about our set.

The dryer starts up similar to a 1963 deisel truck...with a worn out starter.

 It has a buzzer to let me know when the load is almost dry and then again when it is all the way done. The buzzer hits decibals my toddler can't even match and it doesn't have to off option. It literally jolts me from my chair and God forbid I may have been napping at the time...no way Jose'. It runs loud and steady for the full 90 minutes it takes to dry the measly five towels it can manage at one time. My washer takes a good ten to twelve minutes to fill for a small load, and when it starts running it shakes violently and shrieks like a rusty wagon on a gravel road filled with empty tin cans. It is so loud, you really cannot carry on a conversation upstairs and downstairs you have a better chance, but you are still likely to miss parts of it here and there. Also, if you go downstairs and look up at the beams that are right below the laundry room, I swear you can see them shaking right along with it. They are terrible, really they are. And I think they are so far from being energy efficient that while everyone else gets rebates for energy star models, we actually seem to get charged extra for having energy loser models. True story.

So I asked the sales man a question that I tried to push aside and ignore, but just couldn't. Do they have any that don't have hush mode, or can you turn hush mode off? He and Hubby both looked at me incredulously and stuttered while trying to grasp understanding.

And now, here is a mommy confession. I hate my machines, but I love them at the same time. They are the perfect tool to use when I put the kids for bed and it is one of those nights. One of those nights when the baby won't stay asleep and just wants to be rocked for hours on end. Once of those nights when he just cries and whines no matter how much I am rubbing his back or swaying back and forth with him in my arms. One of those nights where the second I set him down he cries and then wakes up one of the others and then I just spend my entire night running from room to room to room. One of those nights when I just can't do it! So I make sure everyone if fed and safe and tired, tuck them in their beds with kisses and a story and then I put a load of laundry in. My stone age, terrible, awful, energy loser, horrible loud appliances drown out the crying and whining for those dreadful minutes it takes for them to fall asleep and I can go downstairs or go to bed and pretend my heart isn't breaking and I'm not overcome with guilt for letting the baby cry for a few minutes-- because I can barely hear him!

So there it is, I said it! Awful I know, but I just need to do it once in a while.

Which leads me back to my dilemma, I know I need a new washing machine, but do I just yet?

Simply the Best

Trying to be the best I can be...

Last year for my New Year's resolution I decided to better myself as a wife and mother. I thought about this today and realized I really needed to remind myself and keep working on it. I wanted to focus on making my home into a haven, a soft place to land for everyone in our family. I wanted to create an environment built on love and values, but also an efficient and smooth operating unit. So I have been working hard on organizing, cleaning, and decorating here and there to make my home more organized and less hectic and more appealing visually. However, I put all my energy into that area that I forgot that I also needed to focus on myself, considering I am a huge influence on how my home operates and the atmosphere and mood within these four walls, especially being a stay-at-home mom. 

I was watching Dr. Phil when I had my "ah-ha" moment. Dr. Phil was counseling a newlywed couple with a whole slew of problems. And of course, I was sitting there folding laundry and snacking on goldfish shaking my head and agreeing with Dr. Phil aloud. 

I'm sure I was also thinking "Jeez...get it together people!" or, "Oh my, how horrible!!" all the while. Then Dr. Phil's time came to give his advice and while I was expecting a huge spill and a ten step program or consider divorce speech, he calmly and simply told them that they just needed to put each other first. Well, of course, I thought! But Dr. Phil, aren't you going to really ride that woman for being so nit-picky and unloving to her husband or tell that man that you didn't just fall off the turnip truck when he pulls out a million excuses for his behaviour? No??

To say I wasn't slightly disappointed would be stretching the truth a tad. 

:/  Am I the only SAHM that truly feels she NEEDS a little daily dose of entertaining drama? I'll  add that to my list of things to work on. *sigh*

Anyway...

Dr. Phil told them that each and every morning, the first thing they should think about it "How can I make my wife/husband's LIFE better TODAY?" Perhaps it's just me, but it really hit me! I realized that I definitely do not think of that first thing, and when I do finally get around to thinking about Hubby's life, it very rarely is followed by me making a list of things to do to benefit him beyond making dinner and sorting his socks!! ;o) 

It's more like explaining why I was punching him in the arm all night...if he would just stay on HIS side of the bed!! I mean, Cal King here people! Come on!! I'm getting ready to go all Ricky and Lucy Ricardo on him! 

I love him so very much and we are blessed to have a strong relationship, but what a neat thing to think about every day to try to show him how much I care and to make it an attainable goal: improving his LIFE one day at a time!

What do you do as a little daily act of showing your loved one how important they are? Do you do something daily? Weekly? 

PS I am not entirely joking about the whole twin bed idea. We could just push them together if we needed to and we could look like this when we wake up:

Truck Themed Party

Playing with trucks ;)

Some of the spread :P

Lining up for pin the license plate on the truck game. A friends' husband was kind enough to lend his artistic talent and draw this neat truck on a poster board for our game. I made license plates with the kids' names and ages on the computer and colored them so they looked more real. All the kids had a small one for the game and a bigger one to take home and put in their room.

The license plate game

Some of the decor..haha

Ahhh...colorful balloons everywhere!

The silverware set out in a wooden truck

The cold food table...I made the banner with felt and ribbon. It's hard to see but it says Happy Birthday. I used the pinata to help decorate until it was time to use it and I put Brandt's car rug on the table to add a little umph. ;)

For dessert, we decided to forget cake and ice cream and go for birthday boy's absolute favorite treat (and one of my own as well): donut holes from a donut shop down the street. MMMMM! I loaded them up in dump trucks to look like rocks and then we had homemade chocolate sauce and vanilla bean whipped cream to dip them in. And I just love having a special little individual dessert for the birthday boy or girl, so this time I got a little dump truck and put three holes and a number 2 candle in it for him to make his wish after we sang. The donuts were the best idea...super easy, super delicious and completely gone!

This theme was so simple, colorful and creative! The possibilities were endless and it ended up being so cost effective! Most of the decor was pulled from the kids' rooms and the play room as well as borrowed from friends. This would be great for boys of many ages. 

Salmon and Zucchini Dinner

I hope it tickles your taste buds as it does mine!! YUM! Dinner is served!


Crispy Grilled Salmon

3/4 cup finely crushed Ritz crackers
1/4 cup cornmeal
1/3 cup toasted sesame seed
4 fresh or frozen skinless salmon fillets
2 Tbsp soy sauce
salt and pepper
2/3 cup buttermilk

Combine crushed crackers, cornmeal and sesame seed. Brush salmon with soy sauce and season to taste with salt and pepper. Coat one side of each fillet with buttermilk, press coated side in dry mixture. Grill over medium-high heat for 8 minutes, then turn fish and grill 6-8 minutes more, or until salmon flakes easily with a fork.


Grilled Stuffed Zucchini

1 3/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper
1 6oz container soft Herb cheese
1/3 cup hot water
2 tbsp chopped onion
3 tbsp melted butter
4 large zucchini

Combine bread crumbs, Parmesan, salt and pepper to taste, water, onion and butter. Cut a wedge in each zucchini lengthwise. Spread soft cheese in wedge and top with stuffing mixture, pressing firmly. Place each zucchini in a foil boat (foil shaped to fit zucchini) and grill over medium hear about 20-30 minutes, until zucchini is tender. Cut each in half and serve immediately.