It's been a while. I know. lol
I don't know when I'll get back to catch up. I'll try. I won't promise. ;)
Things are going well! Busy, but well for the most part.
I've been struggling with some anxiety tonight, so as I sat to feed Little (the newest little one's nickname), I turned on the TV and started to watch my most recent Grey's. And I just felt this tug to do something to give my anxiety to God. So I switched over to Pandora and put on the Phil Wickham station. Divine Romance played first. I felt my shoulders relax just a tough. A few more songs came and went and with each one my heart felt just a tiny bit less heavy. Then Hillsong's Hosanna came on. As I sat with my eyes closed, singing to my King, my Father, begging for peace, and holding my littlest blessing so close, breathing in her sweet smell and feeling her soft baby hair on my cheek, one line in the song really got me.
"As I walk from Earth into eternity."
I've never really looked at it like that. While I know that this life is temporary and a journey and that my final destination is living in Heaven with Christ, I guess I just think of it a little differently. I separate it more. I am living here on Earth, with a certain mojo going on, ya know? And then, when I'm done here, I'll go there, to Heaven, and have another thing going. This, then that. Now, later. There is a clear division between my present and my future.
Now obviously I do understand that they are directly connected, and I have often referred to my relationship with God as my walk. That's the appropriate Christian-ese, right? ;)
However, I've never REALLY described my life as one big long walk. That makes it much more focused in a way. It puts earth and eternity on a continuum. It makes them seem much closer together.
And it changes the way I am looking at my day to day life. If I am truly on a walk...on my way to ETERNITY... wow!
I am en route...
as in, on my way NOW. It's not like the diet I will start on Monday. Or the schedule I will start tomorrow. Or the chore charts I am putting into effect next week. Nope.
Apparently I'm already on the schedule. I've already departed and preparing for arrival at my final destination.
It's like I'm standing in line for Eternity. Just waiting my turn...a few more ahead of me, but I'm just about there. So as I walk from Earth to Eternity, from point A to point B, I must remember to stay focused, keep my eyes forward. I'm not walking from Earth to here and then over there and then back a little and then Eternity. No. Here. On my way there. Right now.
Seriously it's just making my head spin. I'm on my way to Heaven! Right now!!
Sorry...this post is long and makes no sense. I am a little on the side of sleep-deprived too, but still...it's just so awesome that I'm on my way to Jesus' house. ahhh...talk about calming anxiety.
well, that's it for now. My tiny little brain can only handle so much right now (or ever) and my heart that was so heavy with worry just an hour ago, is now so filled with love and excitement that it feels like it will just pound right out of my chest! So I most definitely cannot focus my thoughts enough to write anything else.
Good night all!