Monday, January 23

A Lovely Birth Story

Hello everyone! She's here!!

Warning: Kinda, sorta, REALLY long. ;)

Apparently Tuesday was a good day to have a baby!
But barely. She arrived Tuesday night at 11:04. She was six pounds four ounces and nineteen inches long. She has light brown/blonde hair with some light blonde and red in it and really light eyebrows and lashes. So we're not too sure which way her hair will go. 

I have to tell you a little about the meaning of her name. We've liked her first name since we were pregnant with our second baby, Son. We didn't know what we were having so that was our choice if it was a girl. Then we still liked it through our third pregnancy, again a boy. And now, we still liked it when we found out that Jelly Bean was a girl!! I had looked up the meaning to the name years ago and really hadn't given it much thought again and didn't remember what it meant. Anyway, we picked her middle name based on the meaning, it means birth or born (in reference to Christ's birth) and I just loved it. In the hospital, Hubby asked me what her first name meant and I had no clue anymore, so I just looked it up again and the Greek and French origins of her name mean "bright light" or "torch." So her full name could mean a bright light or torch is born! How amazing!! God's got plans for this little one, let me tell you! ;)

So that's it. She's here. She's great. 

You want to hear our birth story?
Okay fine. ;)

So Wednesday I posted about being up all night with contractions. They continued as I had written all day. They were every five minutes, very uncomfortable. I couldn't sleep through them, but I could still walk and talk through most of them. I was in early labor and I knew it. Around noon I started getting frustrated that there wasn't any change. I would even have ten minute breaks here and there with no contractions at all. So my friend Rachelle was so kind to come over and hang out with the kids and I. Then she pulled out her stroller, loaded up her kids and asked promptly "Ready to go for a walk?" We walked around the block a couple times and even ran a little at one point. 

I also cleaned my bathrooms, cleared out all the laundry hampers, picked out clothes for all the kids for the week, cleaned the couches and vacuumed. Just a few last minute chores to get things moving. ;)

Well things were still the exact same until around 3:30 or 4:00 when I started to notice the intensity of the contractions increasing, however not the frequency. At this point I found myself still wanting to walk and move around a lot, but had to lean on something through a contraction and couldn't really focus well to talk through them. 

Hubby had come home from work early and started to ask every 30 minutes "Time to go?" I told him I would absolutely NOT go to the hospital only to be sent home because my contractions are not consistent or frequent enough. That's what they told me with Baby and I was at 8 cm when I went BACK to the hospital a few hours later. So this time, I was not leaving until I knew I was already far along like that. So we waited.

Fed the kids. Bathed them. Read stories. Explained what was going on and that we could be taking mommy to the Doctor while they were sleeping if Jelly Bean told us it was time. Daughter was a little nervous about me being away, but really excited for her baby sister to come. Then we sat down to wait. I worked on a blanket and read a book. But then I noticed that the contractions seemed to subside a bit! It was around seven at night and I started to get frustrated again that they weren't progressing. I had already called my neighbor to be ready that night and hubby had already told his work he'd be out the next day. I started to think maybe she won't come tonight! 

Hubby suggested that I lay down and sleep since I'd been up since midnight, but I didn't want to because I just wanted to keep things going! So I paced the house. For almost an hour I walked around, stopping to lean on a chair, swaying from side to side through contractions every five minutes. Around 8:30, I was still frustrated and very tired. So I decided to just give up and lay down. I fell asleep on the couch almost immediately. About 25 minutes later, my eyes opened so fast as my whole body folded in half. My stomach tightened hard and my legs were shaking as the worst contraction yet rolled through. It lasted for two minutes and after that I knew she was coming that night. 
The contractions...ahh the contractions. 
They were excruciating, the pain was so deep, rolling through my back and my abdomen, shooting violent shakes down my legs. I couldn't hold back the large tears that came with each one, my jaw clenched tight and my face was hot with exhaustion from this pain that couldn't be escaped. 
I had been mentally preparing myself for labor for weeks. I didn't want an epidural (although I was sure I'd give in the second I walked through the hospital doors) and I knew I wanted to stay home as long as possible, even though the same plan with Baby had still led to five hours laboring in the hospital before he was born.
Every time I'd have a contraction I'd sing softly to myself "It is well" or repeat her name, reminding myself this was so minor a pain compared to the joy I'd be experiencing so soon. I'd tell myself that I was not at the limit of pain that God had designed my body to bear and I'd remember all the hours I'd spent praying for the tiny life inside me. It ended up being a really mental and sometimes even spiritual with the amount of prayers I was sending up, battle. Sometimes I'd think "If I were at the hospital, I could already have an epidural and be sleeping through most of this." But I'd remind myself that my body was designed to endure this and if Jesus could experience the suffering He had for us, I could surely endure this labor to welcome our baby into this life. 

We decided to wait about an hour before going to the hospital, about the same as what we'd done with Baby. I had about seven more contractions, but the last three were almost back to back. We called our neighbor, checked on the kids and we were off by 10:15. We got to the hospital and signed in at admitting by 10:30. We were sent up to labor and delivery and taken to a room. I was having contractions every 1-2 minutes, each one lasting two minutes. I was crying and moaning and groaning, gritting my teeth, and often times thinking that I just needed to calm down. I changed into the open backed hospital gown and got into bed and they checked me immediately. It was 10:42. I was dilated to seven, although they said it was hard to tell exactly because my water bag was bulging (remember the high fluid numbers?). The baby's head was no longer on my cervix (it was the day and week before, causing a lot of pressure), but was being pushed up because the bag of waters was bulging down. That explains why everything felt so slow progressing all was moving along nicely, but I wasn't feeling that intense pressure normally felt during active labor. So they laid me on my side to try to relieve some of the bulging and then left to start a chart and get an IV going. They asked if I wanted an epidural and I said I did if they thought they could get it in time, because by this point all of my self control was gone and I just wanted to sleep. I kept saying "I'm so tired...I'm so so tired!"

As soon as all the nurses had left the room, I felt a pop and then warm fluid rushed all over the bed, down my legs. There was so much fluid it just kept pouring out. Hubby went to the hall to tell the nurse and as soon as all the fluid had stopped, I immediately felt the most overwhelming and painful pressure right at my cervix. It felt as if a bowling ball slammed against my cervix out of nowhere. I literally felt like bones were crushing and pulling apart at the same time. I looked at the clock right when my water broke. It was 10:55pm.

The nurses were telling me to relax and not to push at all because we were waiting for the Doctor. I kept saying I was sorry and that I was trying and I kept telling them I wasn't pushing. It felt like something was inside me (well, duh) pushing the baby. My main nurse looked at me and said that if she had to deliver the baby, everything would be fine and that she'd done it numerous times before. I just nodded and didn't take the time to explain that I wasn't really concerned with who was delivering my baby, I just didn't want her to end up on the floor. I felt the nurse pushing back on the baby's head and I knew she was holding her head inside as she was talking to me. A minute later she said "Okay, head's out!" 

I was surprised because I had been trying so very hard not to push, to hold her inside. But at the same time I wasn't surprised at all because I had felt her head pushing despite all my best efforts. The nurse told me to push one time, I did and Jelly Bean was born. I remember looking at Hubby's face and laughing because he was so excited, nervous, surprised and shocked at the whole situation. Bean's time of birth was 11:04, exactly 22 minutes after I climbed onto that hospital bed and 34 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Everything happened so fast, so different than the other unexpected. 

The Doctor didn't make it for delivery. He arrived 20 minutes after birth. Our friend and photographer, who I had planned to be there for a little bit before the birth as well, arrived about three minutes after the birth. 

**By the way, thank you so much Sarah for being a part of this day, this incredibly special time with our family and for capturing such perfect moments. And if you haven't thought about or decided to have your birth photographed professionally, I would HIGHLY recommend it. I wish I would have done it with all my kids...the pictures are just priceless**

I didn't have an IV hooked up. There was no time to start any of my paperwork, the nurses didn't even have time to break down the bed. The monitors only had about two minutes of contractions and heart rates recorded. It was a blur, but it was an incredible, wonderful blur.

Seeing her sweet, tiny little face with her paper thin ears and cheeks covered in peach fuzz was overwhelming, to say the least. She's my fourth baby, so I knew this was coming, but it never tires. The wonder is never worn, the magic is never old. The mystery of birth and life is revealed new each time and each time I whisper to myself how I cannot imagine not having done this one more time. 
I marvel that Jesus actually knit her together...pieced her precious little self tiny bit by tiny bit, deep in my body. At the same time, He also nurtured a seed of love planted deep in my soul. All her soft little flutters, every time I heard her strong heart beat, every thought of her that passed through my mind were all orchestrated together to create a love that was exploding long before I held her fragile hands, touching each slender finger. 

I could go on and on describing the moment, the experience, the feelings and mostly, the baby. My child. My youngest child. 
But really, it is summed up so perfectly in such an ordinary way. I needn't do all this blabbering. Just look at her. Just know that Jesus designed her and allowed us to meet her, to hold her, to know her, to love her. I don't need to say much...she tells the story in her soft little noises that sound like a kitten, her sweet baby smell, the velvety smoothness of her skin.

I really can't say anything to do her...Jesus' handiwork justice.
So I'll just leave it at this...the two words that run through my mind all the time.
She's Lovely.

Tuesday, January 17


Last night hubby and I decided to go to bed early. 8:30. Strange for us, but we needed it. So off to bed we went. I woke up around 11:45 thanks to a nice little contraction. About ten minutes later, another. Ten more minutes another. At 12:21 I had my fourth contraction that I couldn't sleep through so I decided to go downstairs and work on Bean's blanket until they mellowed out again.

I finished the blanket and went back to bed. Then got back up. Went back to bed. Calmed scared Daughter after a nightmare. Hubby woke up and asked me if I had gotten up earlier. I said I'd been awake since midnight because I couldn't sleep through my contractions, which were now about every five minutes. Daughter joined us in bed. It was 3:30.

It's now seven. Daughter's sleeping. The boys are up. Contractions are still steady at 3-5 minutes apart. I can talk through them, though I don't really want to. I think I may meet Jelly Bean today, guys!!

Last night Daughter told me she wished she'd come out "tomorrow." Ask and you shall receive, maybe?

What do you think? Good day to have a baby? Tonight, tomorrow? :)

Monday, January 16

2011 wrap up

Time to finish up 2011 :)

Christmas was such a great SEASON this year. We really tried to focus on the entire season rather than just the day. We wanted to teach our kids humility, modesty and the importance of giving, as well as obviously the real reason we celebrate Christmas, Jesus' birth. So we started off the season with our advent, which I wrote about a few posts ago. It included simple and fun things that we did every day (movie night, dress up for dinner, etc) mixed up with some service/giving type activities too (treating the person behind us at the ice cream shop, buying a gift card for a stranger, etc). We wanted to take all the presents out of Christmas, to make the entire month memorable and special, each day in it's own way. We decided early on that the kids would get three gifts, no more than Baby Jesus got for His own birthday and they could ask Santa for three things also, although they weren't promised all three from Santa. One of the three from us would be a handmade item and the other two would be gifts to inspire creativity and sharing. It kept our budget low and shopping time minimal, really allowing us a lot of time to spend together DOING things and CELEBRATING. 

Hubby works a lot, especially during holidays, so this year I had to decide to just go for it and do the things that we wanted our kids to experience, with or without him. We missed him a lot this season, but did manage to save some very special times for just Daddy too. I had to be kinda brave a few times and brave some crowds that I would normally have avoided with just the kids and I, but it was worth it to see their faces and excitement and then hear them tell Daddy all about our adventures when he was home.

Advent day one was to take the kids to the town's Christmas parade. I far Underestimated this task. Lol. It was packed and I had to walk a LONG way by myself with the kids pleading "how much longer" and "my legs are tired" every couple minutes. But we had a lot of fun, met up with some friends and made a great memory. :)

Another night was to write down all the participating addresses for the town's Christmas light contest and go check them out. This took us two nights because there were so many! Some were just 'eh' and some were so awesome. This one house had Santa visiting!! What a lucky surprise ;)

We took the kids to the Mission Inn to check out the lights, visit Santa and say hello to his reindeer. The lights were pretty and Santa was so kind, but we will probably not brave THOSE crowds again ;)

We decided at the last minute to have our annual Christmas party! It ended up being very small, just the "old faithfuls" as we call them...the people who always manage to show up with bells and whistles to celebrate anything we have going on. Thanks to everyone who went out of their way to join us, we all had a lot of fun...and the Rainbow Brite Snuggie made its way back! Hopefully we see it again next year ;)

We saved Gingerbread houses to do with Daddy! So fun...the kids did them for over an hour!!!

Baby thoroughly enjoyed eating more than his fill of candy and marshmallows. ;)

Love the tongue...haha

Coloring by the little tree together

My friend Kati and I hosted our second annual Christmas morning party for all the kiddos. We had breakfast food, a book exchange and a surprise visit from SANTA!! SO exciting!

A little dinosaur play with Daddy

A matching beanie set I made for Kati's new baby nephew and niece.

Sprinkling the reindeer food on Christmas Eve

Setting out cookies, milk, carrots and drawings...making sure everything is just right

Thankful for the gift of the season

"Santa Clause, Keep this picture. I love Santa Clause."

Santa's magic key, because we don't have a fireplace

Santa came!! He brought the kids books, dinosaurs, hot wheels, a kite, some balls, nail polish, an art set and yes, a pet rat.

Hello Sally. ;)

Daughter was thrilled!! This was really all she wanted! It took some time, but Sally is growing on me.

Finished gingerbread houses

Son's. he said there was a hurricane, hence all the snow piles.

Daughter's, with a marshmallow snowman out front. :)

And I think that's a wrap for this Christmas season. We got everything cleaned up and out the day after Christmas while Daddy was at work. I am blaming nesting.

Thank you Jesus for coming to save us. We are so blessed, and thank you for teaching us how important it is to BE the blessing to others this year.

Friday, January 13

Jumping Jelly Bean

First of all, let me just say that I am SO appreciative of all your thoughts, concerns, prayers and kind words. I covet them and adore them. Thank you thank you thank you. They were uplifting and encouraging. Like I said, I'm sure I am making a mountain out of a molehill, but I just haven't been able to quiet that worried spirit inside. I have been constantly reminding myself that when I worry or stress or am anxious about ANYTHING, I am not doubting God's power, but rather WHO HE IS. Yikes. On the other hand, however, after my talk with the Dr, I was much less worried than I had been before when I didn't know if something could be wrong with Bean. Once I talked to her and heard her confidence that nothing was wrong with Bean, most of the worry went away. Rather, I really became so sad because of the concern of stillbirth. Naturally, of course. Sounds strange, huh? But if you think about it, it kinda makes sense. I was not "worried" about Bean if she were to be stillborn, she'd be happy and glorified and quickly reunited with Jesus. I was sad that we'd miss out on her if something happened. So that's what I've been struggling with this week...not too much "worry" but struggling to find joy. Even though everything is still fine, it's just such a sobering thing to think about.

ANYWAY... little bits of good news though!

I had more monitoring this week and my most recent one showed a slight drop in the numbers that originally concerned my doctor! Woohoo!! Also, Bean has been jumping around like CRAZY!

Which is strange for her because she's not much of a mover. Hasn't been the entire pregnancy. I don't remember if I've mentioned this, but she barely wiggles her feet and flutters her fingers in there. She never kicks, rarely stretches, and I don't think I've ever felt her turn all around. In every ultrasound they always comment that she's just so "mellow." We're always poking and prodding and trying to get little Bean to do a little dance and she just will NOT oblige. However, since Thursday, Bean has been moving up a storm!! More than I've ever felt her! And with more intensity too! And usually fetal movements slow down a lot at this point since there's not much room left in there for the baby to move around.

Wanna know my theory?

My little Jelly Bean is a thoughtful sort. She knows her momma's been praying fervently for some assurance and has been "worried" (agh...okay, maybe I've still been a TEENY bit anxious) that her movements (or lack thereof) are a concern. So she's been pushing and pulling and dancing and kicking just to let me know she's still there and waiting to see us soon. Isn't she a sweetheart?

I can't wait to kiss her little (read: big ol') lips.


So I see the Dr again on Monday!! Yippee-skipee, we'll see what she says!!

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers and kind words! I;ve been overwhelmed by all the love and kindness. I even got a sweet box of cookies with an encouraging verse left on my doorstep today! Can you believe it? Jelly bean flipped out when she caught a whiff of those bad boys. ;)

I'm off to keep working on my "before Bean arrives" list. It's getting longer, not that odd? Every time I cross something off, I add two more things. And these are crucial things that MUST be done before Bean comes. Like today, I made sure to clean the banister and stairs and go get sandwich bags and dog food at Costco. God forbid if we run out of ziplocks when I'm in the hospital, you know?! ;)


PS: Poll: What do I do about my blog name? It's triple scoop...bc I was POSITIVE we were done at three kids. Obviously, we got an extra do I change it? leave it? Hmmm...

Wednesday, January 11

Jelly Bean

I went to the Dr on Monday. Twice. Once for a regular appointment to check Bean, the next for monitoring, to check Bean.
I was anxious.
I had been quiet all weekend.
I had nothing to say really.
Just a very somber feeling inside, one that I couldn't explain.
Hubby kept asking me what I was thinking, telling me to talk about it.
I tried.
Nothing came out.
There weren't any words...I just felt....quiet.
So I went to the Dr. Still feeling somber, but with a couple questions.
First question I planned to ask was about the monitoring and the possibilities: what were we looking for, would we find it, have I don't something or can I do something, is it really something at all or are we just milking the insurance?
My second question was if I could wait as long as possible before being induced. I am 11 days from my due date and not feeling like she's coming today or tomorrow. You know? I'm having contractions, just not often enough and they're still quite bearable. I was induced with Daughter and Son, and Baby came on his own. It was a much better experience with Baby and I'd prefer to try to let Jelly Bean make her appearance whenever she's ready also.

So those were my questions. I asked the first one and I could see my Doctor squirm just a bit. She's a very honest doctor and always prefers to err on the side of caution. She doesn't like to tell moms too many "possibilities" that could just stress them out and she absolutely will not do ANYTHING that puts the mother's comfort over the baby's safety. Nada. So I trust her completely and appreciate her methods. I've mentioned before how much I seriously ADORE my OB. Well, as I watched her squirm and try to dance around my question, not giving me any "possibilities" that they are concerned about, I pushed the issue. Usually I don't, but I really did this time. "What EXACTLY" are you concerned about to keep me being monitored so often?"

She told me that with high fluid levels, she would normally be concerned about things like down syndrome, intestinal issues or even trisomy 18, but since it's much later in my pregnancy and we've done all that testing, she's more concerned about other complications. She said her primary concern right now is stillbirth.

The whole room froze at that moment. At first I reacted like "Ohhh...okay." As if I was saying, ok, so no big deal. Then I processed the actual word and panicked a little.

"What? How could high fluid levels cause stillbirth?!"

She explained that they don't know too much about either stillbirth (in many cases) or polyhydramnios, and that it is not that the fluid causes stillbirth, but rather it just tends to just be one of those things that occurs often enough that they have to look at it. In enough situations to be concerned about, mothers with polyhydramnios deliver stillborn babies.

She explained that she doesn't feel the urge to deliver the baby right now as she has still been regularly active and had a strong heart rate at every visit and monitoring. So she told me to be very aware of her movements and if I feel like she's slowing down to get ourselves to the hospital. She also said if there are no big changes by next week she will schedule delivery shortly after, so I wouldn't be going much over my due date, if at all.

I didn't ask any more questions.
I was kinda whirling.
I left the office and drove home.
And the rest of the day it was all I could think about. The thoughts just kept flooding in.
I knew it was just a precaution. There are no other indicators that anything is wrong at all, and chances are that everything will be fine and I will breathe such a big sigh when she's born.

But when your doctor says the word stillborn to you at 38 weeks, there are just things you cannot help but think about.
In no particular order, these were some of my thoughts (some are completely irrational)

How would I get through that?
How would I explain that to Daughter and Son? Daughter would be devastated and mad at God, I think.
Why would God want her already?
I'll never say her name to her.
I love her name.
I wouldn't want to have another baby.
At one point I felt an urge to stop and thank God for the time that I've had with her already.
Then I felt incredibly sad that I am the only one that has been able to enjoy her so far.
She'd still wear the dress. (She's going to wear the dress that Daughter and I both wore home from the hospital as newborns)
We'd have a funeral.
Would anyone come? No one else knew her.
How would we pay for a funeral?
How would I keep going, taking Daughter to school, changing Baby's diapers, making Son sandwiches?
What would I do with her things? I couldn't get rid of them yet, but I should give them to someone who needs them.
How would Hubby deal? Would he cry? He doesn't cry.
Would I be scarred...obviously, but would I lose it forever. As in would my kids and husband lose a part of me they still need?
Oh....all the work we put into her room.
I think I'd sleep in her room.
I wouldn't want to leave the hospital.
All those hours spent crocheting tiny hats and bows, legwarmers and headbands...she'll never know how much I sat and thought about her and prayed for her.
I'd throw up.
It would be so hard to be around another baby.
I'd hang her picture with my kids'.
I'd need help.
I couldn't deliver could I go through that pain, knowing there would be no cries or coos on the other side? They'd have to take her out. I couldn't push.

ridiculous right?
But it's something I just couldn't help.
Tears stung the back of my lids all day, my hands very seldom moved from my stretched and round tummy. I smiled weakly at people and had a hard time listening to my neighbor's griping about her deployed husband. My heart was breaking all day and my brain was on overdrive, going back and forth between telling myself to stop being so ridiculous and thinking of the what-ifs.

I cannot imagine the pain that families go through when they do actually have to go through having a baby die in utero so close to delivery. I was absolutely devastated when I miscarried a few years ago, but this would just be too much to bear. My heart bleeds for those families, because although I have not experienced this tragedy, just having to think about it at this point has been overwhelming.

I know that God has us in His hands. I know He has a plan, He's in control. I also know that none of that "knowledge" would take the grief and pain away if my bean never smiled at me, never gripped her sister's red hair or painted her big brother's nails...if she never danced on her daddy's feet. I know that Jesus would hold her, dance with her and love her...I know we'd be with her again in heaven, but living the days here, constantly wondering and aching for her life would be absolutely terrifying.

I also know that the chances of this are slim and I shouldn't even be thinking about it, but I couldn't help it and wanted to just write about my feelings and thoughts. Because this is real and this is what happened. And you know, just the little sliver that I've felt this week has filled my heart with so much more compassion for families that go through this. Before this week, I couldn't imagine. This week I did imagine. And it was horrible.
So every day I am thanking Jesus for the time I've had with Bean and just continuing to ask selfishly that our time with her not end too soon. ;)

Thursday, January 5

37 Weeks

So I was FINALLY able to get on the same schedule as my friend Sarah, from Itsy Bitsy Photography, and get some maternity shots done. 37, almost 38 weeks isn't exactly ideal time...the jeans I had planned to wear no longer fit, but eh. What can you do? Here's a sneak peek from what she got! :)

Wednesday, January 4

Baby Progress

So I'm 37 weeks and three days. Yup...I'm feeling ready.
I'm nesting like Cuh-RAZY. Running around like I'm on super speed, cleaning, organizing, crafting, errands., yardwork. My poor plants really suffered under the hand of my nesting. They are virtually stubs. Really. Ah, well. What doesn't kill 'em will make them stronger, right? Hopefully. :/

Anywho...a few weeks ago at my OB, she said I was measuring small and even though I tend to measure just a touch on the small side with all my babes, she wanted to get an ultrasound to make sure. So off I went to get an ultrasound. The tech said that she was measuring just fine, only a few days shy of her due date. Turns out my doctor's nurse sent me to the wrong ultrasound place and they didn't run the right screenings that my doctor was looking for. my appointment last week, she said I was still measuring really small and sent me off again. Well this time, I couldn't get in for a week. So I went in yesterday to get another ultrasound, at the right place. They did a much more lengthy ultrasound, gathering lots more information and numbers and asked me all the stats on the first three babes...sizes, dates, measurements...whew, I could barely remember everything! :/

Well anyway, after the ultrasound they said that based on their screenings and my doctor's concern that they would like to monitor me 2-3 times a week until I deliver. I asked why and what they found. They said that jelly bean is smaller compared to my other babes, but not bad. Still on a normal track. However, my amniotic fluids are measuring high. Huh? I asked what it meant and she spouted off some numbers and my numbers. I asked what it could be concern for and she was very vague and said something about irritation of the uterus and then just brushed it off on doctor's orders. Well my first thought was, of course there's uterus irritation, I've got a BABY growing in there. Harhar...I was pleased with my witty little line in my head. Then I made a mental note to check into this whole high fluid level thing later. I understood why she couldn't explain any more to me, and I appreciated it. She's not a doctor, not a nurse. She's a technician. I've had technicians speak out of line to me before and I was not a happy momma. One technician told me with one of the boys that I was going to need a C-section and I'd be on bed rest from 18 weeks until delivery. She was wrong. Very wrong. And had me practically chewing my fingers off with anxiety. So I am just fine waiting to speak to my doctor.

Well when I got home, I decided to do a little research on my own and while I was at it I measured myself to see how much smaller we were talking. I always measure one to two centimeters smaller, which isn't a big deal. I am measuring 27-29 and obviously should be measuring 37ish. :/ So I guess that is smaller. Then I learned that the term for high amniotic fluid levels is Polyhydramnios. Now, I haven't talked to my doctor about everything yet, this is just me reading things that are scary. But apparently less than 8% of pregnancies have polyhydramnios and 20% of babies born have some sort of issue or problem. So I'm sitting over here, kinda freaking out but trying to play it cool. And reminding myself that when I don't trust God, I am not believing in who He is.

So that's that. I'm nervous, but God is bigger than my anxiety. And He's awesome. And jelly bean is gearing up to be one of the cutest babies ever and she has some big old kissers. ;) Her nose looks kinda like a witch nose in that top picture, but it didn't look like that in any other picture. So we're just gonna go ahead and say that's not her good side. :)

Monday, January 2


Explaining her custom carving plan to daddy

Getting ready for our annual chili cook-off on Halloween night!

So many delicious entries to try!

Going out for girls' day!

Daughter has been begging me to teach her to embroider or crochet...since both are just a bit beyond her, I thought we'd start with basic cross-stitch and see how she liked it.

She did great, and really enjoyed it and even threaded her own needle when I wasn't looking and again for the camera!!

These silly kids

We discovered that glow sticks from the dollar bins are FABULOUS bath toys!

PJ Day at school!

I made Mario Bros cookies for an order...I was scared to death the make the mario face, but they came out alright! The eyes are a little googly, but whatever. ;)


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