Thursday, March 17

A lesson from Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is hell. 

Or exactly as I imagine hell.
And it's all because two people fell in love.

See, you create a soft cuddly little human out of love for another person. 
You invite them into your home, give them everything and love them unconditionally. Then one day you come up with the bright idea of a playmate. Apparently at this point you have not yet been introduced to play DATES, where you go play and then come home with just your one human and everything is still peaceful and quiet. No, that's either not an option or not good enough. 
You decided that your little human needs another little human. 
Someone to grow up with, share laughs and clothes with, someone to protect and love, someone to bond with. Sounds like an inspirational song right about now and you do the deed.

Pretty soon you're welcoming your second little human and taking those priceless pictures of introducing siblings in the hospital. People are gawking about how sweet they are and how they have the same nose. You are writing birth announcements and blogs about how human number one just instinctively loves the new little human and is just so kind and gentle with them.

That lasts about four and half minutes. 
Well it lasts a tiny bit longer, but it feels like only four and half minutes. 

And then you're googling how to foster sibling love and sharing.
You're begging for advice from friends and buying multiple identical items to try and keep the peace. 
You've built barricades in the hallway between their rooms and are considering adding that plexiglass shield that cop cars have to the swagger wagon so you don't crash the wagon during a completely 
shrieking session. 

And then, if you're a slow learner like I am, you decided to go ahead and do it again. 

Human number three. 

Oh. Em. Gee. 

Yes, that is exactly how I imagine hell. 

To help teach my kids compassion towards one another and show them how their actions can hurt each other, I've started telling the offender to ask the offended how he/she can make them feel better.
The offended often times requests a singing sorry-gram or a prayer or a turn with a favorite toy. It actually does work really well most times and smooths over the moment. 

Well one night, I was the offended. My kids were both being so grumpy and yelled at me when I asked them to do something. I must have genuinely had a look of hurt on my face because they both started looking very concerned and asked what was wrong. 
I told them I did not want to talk to them when they were being so mean. 
They talked to each other and then both said sorry. 
I wasn't quite ready to let it go so I thanked them for their apology but said I still had hurt feelings and didn't want to talk to them. 

More whispers.

Then they break out in the most out of tune, off pitch, unsychronized, 
 version of Twinkle Twinkle I have

I tried to resist.

I looked the other way. 

I bit my bottom lip. 

And then...I melted.

I turned and watched them sing the rest of the song to me with their big goofy grins and looking at each other to try to stay together. When they finished singing they asked me if I felt better because they sang me that song to make me feel better. 

And then Son offered me the last soggy bite of his graham cracker and 
Daughter said I could sleep with her Barbie. 

Thanks guys. I feel much better.
No thanks on the cracker though, Son. 
You go ahead and finish it.

Daughter, I'll get back to you about the Barbie. ;)

1 comment:

  1. i absolutely love this post.... and love the way you express yourself in writiing! Too funny that pictures above!!!

    And soo true. I have non-stop fighting over here!



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