Why

I''ve been feeling a call on my heart. I think God wants me to share things in my life, but I really don't know why. And I don't entirely know how these stories can be used to help anyone, because I don't think I chose to react to the situations in the best way. And I don't really have a big amazing story as to what God has done with these dark spots in my story. I don't want to share things and have them just be seen as a plea for pity. I am still working through some of these issues also. So maybe I should wait until someday when i've seen the beauty that God promises from ashes? I am scared to be open and vulnerable. Especially here, on the world wide web. Where little to no one truly cares about you. I haven't even shared some of these things with some of the people who I've called close in my life. Although it seems that those close friends aren't always what I thought either. When is being open with everyone a good thing and when is it just putting on a show, creating a drama? 

I just don't know why. But I can't shrug the feeling. I just wish I knew why. What will come of it all?

Prayers

Things are in store for my family. Big things. God is orchestrating a tiny little symphony in our life and it is just incredible to watch it come together. I am nervous and anxious at how it will continue to unfold, but excited to see what His purpose is for each of us individually and together as a whole.

Things have been overwhelming and crazy, a flurry is the word that continually comes to mind. But it is good. So good. I cannot wait to see what He sees.

On the other end of the spectrum, I am fighting feelings of hurt and lonliness. I cannot mend things that are broken for reasons I don't understand. Things are out of my hands yet I feel that burden of the blame that is being put upon me. I have been running in circles, desperately trying to figure out what I can do to solve situations and today it just struck me. Perhaps this is the enemy pulling the puppet strings. Laughing all the while I am distracted and disheartened. I realize that God is on my side, and while He cares about the silly things that weigh me down, He is reminding me that HIS yoke is easy and His burden is light. Why concern myself with things that are not of Him. Even things that are good and a blessing, can become a weight. I have been letting some things that should be meant for good,  consume me. Filling my heart with sadness and my vision is away from Him. That is not good.

Be Thou my vision Lord. Continue to take me and mold me, using my family and I for good and not evil. Continue to give us your love for others, a peaceful, uncompromising love. Guide my feet Jesus, please. Strip away the things in my life that do not bring glory to your name. The things that do not shout your mercy and love from the tops of the mountains. Help me to proclaim your grace. Keep me away from the tangles and snares of this world.

I love you Jesus.
Fill me with your love for others.

Gifts 1034-1060

I cannot believe it's been so long since I've written down the gifts God has shown me. Man... better late than never.

Laynie...such a sweet spirit in that one

Remembering pain. For without pain, how would we truly grow?

Learning to stop looking to people

Summer storms

Coffee machine, brewing out my morning cup

A church family.

Someone genuinely happy to see me

Parents moving closer

Temptation...forcing me to look up, begging for strength

Kaelyn reading to everyone!

Kaelyn's school...the incredible lessons it has afforded us

The friends we've met that we are called to be a light to

my six year old witness for Jesus. She's like a little missionary

Sibling rivalry. So thankful they have each other.

the laundry that never ever ever ends. Let it never stop

a handy husband who can fix (and sometimes break) anything

a burdened heart...for days

 learning to treat my body as a temple

learning that God gave us everything we need in nature

my body

 watching an imagination game unfold

playing in the rain...barefoot...with the neighbor kids down the street

kale...incredible

living with simplicity...trying anyway

every day a new beginning

support

my kids, helping with chores...ahhh...bliss ;)

A Day at the Beach

This was a last minute idea in MAY. We headed to the beach on a  weekend when the sun was shining and bright. Hubby and Brandt fished on the pier, and the kids and I played in the sand and waves. Later we met up together and fished and had dinner. It was such a simple and fun day. Loved it.

America's Funniest Family ;)