Monday, September 12

My Desire


My desire as a mother and wife is to be there uncompromisingly for my family; to guide them and help us to live a life that is worthy and pleasing to God. For a while now I have been struggling to find a church to call home. I just want to find a simple and small church filled with people who are all striving towards the same thing; people who are uplifting and encouraging to one another; I am looking for a church that is a family. I do not like the constant push of "business" in the church, I am turned off by plasma screens, fancy instruments, crazy light shows, comedy routines, and offers to text me the message should I not feel like going one Sunday. I understand diversity and variety and keeping things fresh and new, but I feel like there is a deep simplicity to the message that God wants us to hear. Plasmas and texting don't do anything for our hearts; only God's message of His undying love for us and everything He desires for us can really reach our hearts. At least, that's what I believe. So while I hunt for a church that isn't selling me anything or enticing people to come with Starbucks before service (whatever happened to donated lemonade and donuts or women bringing coffee and cider to share?) I have been spending a lot of time at home reading the Bible, various devotionals and books and listening to worship music; I have been teaching Daughter little Bible stories and doing crafts to simulate Sunday School. It has been lovely; if only we had a little white steeple!! But anyway, I came across this song which I have heard a lot and always liked but really sat down and listened to the words. It etched something special into my heart and I just thought that I would share the lyrics for those that have not heard them yet. It makes me truly ponder if I am making myself available to be used by God. It makes me pray fervently for Him to show me His purpose for my life. How does He want to use me? Am I putting blinders on in order to fill my own agenda or am I waking up each morning and before my feet even hit the floor, begging Him to show me how He can use me that day? I hope that is my true desire and I pray that He fulfills that desire within. :o)

Jeremy Camp My Desire
You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen
Where you've take me
Beyond all I have hoped
And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all you've done
So I give my hands to use

1 comment:

  1. Great message... right on with where i am at right now... and what God is showing me.. and continues to show me until I, one day, obey - to be in community! I need it. whether i think so or not, I need it. Books are great, bible studies too, but there is nothing like being with other believers building each other up and praying for one another. I read the miracle of the lone fig tree jesus basically killed off. It didn't produce fruit (REAL FRUIT). why? because it was alone. Fig trees need other fig trees to have fruit... the same with us... much of my fruit has been in vain.. it is hypocritical unless its poured out. I need people. I am so convicted these days.. so this post hit hard. Thank you for sharing.

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