Today I...

Baked bread for the entire month from scratch. And I whistled while I did it.

Shampooed my carpets by hand, using cloths that I wove myself.

Taught my children long division and worked on their Hebrew.

Calmly sat down and discussed with my toddler why putting his baby brother in a choke-hold is not a "good choice." In the middle of the Wal-Mart parking lot. Then we held hands and sang a song while rubbing noses.

Made every person in my family their own favorite meal and felt happy and complete as they all ate every bite and complimented each other the entire time.

Whipped up a batch of homemade laundry detergent.

Sanitized every toy in the playroom and returned each to its proper and labeled home.

Ran five miles with my dogs. Uphill. Practicing Cesar Millan's world-renowned dog training techniques. Oozing pack leadership the entire way. Oh, and no, they do not have to be on leashes. They are so well-behaved.

Sent every one of my friends a hand-sewn satchel of love with a written note telling them how much I appreciate them.

Led an impromptu Bible study on the corner of my block, strumming a harp and singing "Kum-ba-yah."

Stroked my hubby's ego as soon as he walked in the door and then sat and watched the entire Star Wars series to show my complete and utter devotion.

Wait, you think I'm lying? That I'm making this all up? What??!!

You know me too well.

It went more like this:

Scooped up all the bread on the day old rack to cram in my freezer for the next month. I like to stay well stocked. Which is why, right before we went to the store, we had PB&J on saltines. Mmmm...    :o/

Moved my couch down a couple inches to cover a stain on the carpet. Just until I get a hold of a shampooer.

Gave my kids a preschool workbook, some markers and a couple pairs of safety scissors and told them to learn something. Just until I finished watching Oprah wiping down the counters.

Told my toddler that if he didn't let go of his brother, I'd personally take him down WWF style right here, right now. In the middle of the Wal-Mart parking lot. Then I told the lady staring at me to pull up a chair for front row seats.

Heated up leftovers for dinner and upon hearing the "Chili, agaaaiiin?!" whines, I said it doesn't count as leftovers if you didn't touch it the night before. Then I mentally zoned out and took myself somewhere far away and exotic as the screeching and food flinging ensued.

Added a little water to the tiny bit of laundry soap I had left so that I could at least wash my husband's work clothes. And no, he did NOT ask me to wash him so clothes because he had no clean ones left! That would be really terrible.

Tossed the toys in the play room at the end of the night. And actually, yes, I was completely satisfied as long as they were just inside the doorway. Sanitize? I'm not running a hospital here! ;)

Walked to the mailbox. All thirty feet. Slowly. Without kids. Definitely without dogs. Enjoying the quiet. I have no idea what either the kids OR the dogs were doing while I was outside. I DO know that when I go back both kids' bedding (ALL of it) was downstairs and my lemon tree in my backyard looks like a stick person in the ground. :(

Forgot to call a friend and my MIL back until it was too late. :o/ Sorry, guys.

Pondered whether I could consider looking at a craft blog with a Bible verse picture tutorial my devotion for the day. Thought God probably didn't think that was funny. Stopped blog hopping and did a devotion.

Scoffed at my hubby's television choice for the night. Ancient Aliens vs. Ellen?? No brainer!

All in all, I think it was a pretty nice day. Just a friendly reminder that this blog is not portraying a picture perfect mom, family or life. Rather, the story of me trying to be a mom, take care of my family and keep up with life. :)