Little Epiphany

My little moment of realization for the day just came. 

I've never worried about going home to meet my Savior. 

I've never been scared that I won't be pleasing to Him. 

I've always tried to be a good person, wife and mother. 

A good Christian woman, an example. 

However, I have shied away when I know it will be uncomfortable.

I have been complacent. I have been a disappointment. 

So why have I never worried about this?

Because I always looked around and compared myself to the rest of the world. Sure, there are far greater people than I. 

But holy buckets, there are loads of people far more sinister than I. 

So I figure I'm gonna be just fine. 

But I just realized that when I meet my Maker, He's not going to evaluate my performance using mankind, my fellow humanity, my friends, family, the good people, the bad people. 

Humanity will not be the ruler I am held to. 

Christ will be. 

His perfect Son will be the single ruler He uses, the only standard that I am held to. 

Oh. Em. Gee. 

I am still not worried, not scared, but I am not feeling that same sense of complacency. 

I am feeling a sense of urgency. 

I am not good at all. 

I am lost, 

tainted, 

sinful. 

I am cruel, 

selfish, 

lazy. 

I do not find this discouraging, but encouraging rather. 

To realize that I am nothing without Him, FULLY realize. 

To see that I am not anything special, only points to HIS greatness. 

To see that I am so small, lifts my eyes up to my Father, who is So big. 

Who do I think I am? Who am I?

 Incredibly, I am His child.

 In spite of all my faults, 

my shortcomings, 

the Almighty STILL claims me as His own. 

I am not good enough, 

I am not doing fine because I am a better person than the next. 

I have not met my goal. 

I have not pleased my Lord the moment I believe I have, 

the moment I think I have reached the mark. 

I am not good, because I am nothing. 

He is everything. 

I have not reached the mark, but I will keep running. 

Desperate to see Him. 

I long to wake up each morning, 

begging for His help in every moment to acknowledge His magnitude 

and perfection 

and in turn strive to be like Christ. 

To keep that moment in sight, 

the moment when I meet my Father, 

when He takes me through the gates. 

In that moment,

when all I will see 

and hear 

and sing 

will be His glory. 

I plead with God 

NOW 

that I will be there 

THEN. 

That NOW 

I am fully aware of His might, 

that I will bow in humility 

THEN. 

That people will see me 

and call me "Christian" 

NOW, 

that they will also bow in His presence 

THEN.